This past weekend was an interesting one. And not because it was Artscape weekend (more about that later this week) or because a water main broke downtown, effectively shutting off a good chunk of downtown Baltimore.
No it was an interesting weekend for two different reasons.
Saturday morning, I was peacefully sitting on my living room floor engaged in a little DIY project. You see I wanted to bring a little life to my old desk. And I do mean OLD desk--it was mine back in elementary school. It's still in good shape but I was kind of tired of it's early-90's white-ness. So I pulled the drawers out, emptied their contents onto my living room floor, and painted the insides different colors. Mom's on the hunt for drawer pulls to complete the desk's transformation.
Sure I was bummed that there had been a snafu with payday on Friday. Sure I was bummed that it was raining all weekend. Sure I was bummed that I had to start packing my stuff.
But I wasn't that upset. After all, I had plenty of other things I could do around the apartment. I was busy doing just those things when my phone rang. It was Mom. I knew she and Dad were shopping for a new car for her. I answered my phone and this conversation ensued:
Mom: "Courtney where are you?"
Me: "I'm in my apartment"
Mom: "Calm down sweetie. I can't believe they didn't come get you."
Me: "Who didn't come get me?"
Mom: "We'll be there in 15 minutes. Just stay calm."
Me: "I'M IN BALTIMORE."
Mom: "I know. We're leaving now and we'll be there soon."
Me: "Who do you think you're talking to?"
The conversation continued in this manner for a few minutes. During those few minutes I grew increasingly concerned for my mother's sanity and general mental health. After all, I was in Baltimore and they were in Atlanta. Or so I thought. I mean, if they had flown to Baltimore, why hadn't anyone told me? Did she have me confused with Kara? But then again Kara was in DC so that didn't make sense either. Maybe a neighbor?? I refused to believe that my mother had gone insane or suffered some sort of break with reality. I mean, I know car shopping's stressful and all but it's not that stressful.
Eventually Mom announced they were in the car and both of my parents began giggling hysterically. It took until the next afternoon to get teh full story of what went down that Saturday morning.
Mom and Dad were at a car dealership. Naturally the salesman was all of the used car salesmen stereotypes rolled into one tiny 5'1" package. He made an offer to sell them a crappy car; Mom counter-offered with a ridiculously low price. He got the manager. Mom stuck to her low offer, hoping they would give up and tell her to go elsewhere. They kept trying to haggle. Mom told them she was hungry (even though they had just come from breakfast). They told her they'd get her breakfast from Chickfila. Mom insisted she wanted eggs. They offered to get her eggs. She said she wanted to leave. Dad tried really hard not to laugh. They insisted that she allow them to send someone to get her eggs. Dad answered a cellphone that hadn't rung. He had a semi-panicked conversation, apparently with me. He told Mom that I was panicked because my ride hadn't shown up and that I wanted Mom to call me. They rushed out of the dealership. The above conversation ensued. I questioned my mother's sanity. The used car salesman followed them into the lot, shouting an even lower offer. They sped away.
I kept my phone on the rest of the day, just in case Mom decided to have another "episode."
Not to be outdone by Saturday, Sunday provided some entertainment all its own.
Things progressed normally. I went to church. I came home and ate lunch. I began packing. I watched Girls on HBO (I still can't decide if I like it, but I can't stop watching it). I worked out, I ate dinner. Then I decided to take a detox bath and things got a little interesting.
I've been completely uninhibited about trying things that catch my eye on Pinterest lately. If I have all the necessary materials, I will try it out. I had seen a pin describing how to take a "detox bath." Apparently the bath is good for you. It makes you sweat profusely, which rids your body of toxins.
I filled my bath with the warmest water I could stand. I added salt, baking powder & ground ginger (yeah I know. It's weird). I set my timer for thirty minutes and got in the tub with a book. I thought, no problem, I can soak for thirty minutes while I read.
Wrong.
Exactly seven minutes into the bath I went to chuck my book across the room. Thankfully I remembered that I had borrowed it from a friend so instead I set it down gingerly on the rug, far enough away from the tub that I couldn't slosh bath water all over it.
I was so sweaty I couldn't think straight. I was uncomfortable. I was miserable. I swore. A lot. I said things that good Southern Christian girls don't say. I think I scandalized the birds. I gritted my teeth and stuck out the rest of the thirty minutes. Okay that's a lie. I got out at the twenty eight minute mark. I KNOW. I'm terrible.
Getting out of the tub did little to relieve my discomfort. I dried off, washed my face with ice cold water and threw on pajamas. I was still sweating. I got in bed and read a bit more. Still sweating. I did my quiet time. I was dripping sweat. I turned my fan on full blast. Didn't help. Eventually I went to sleep. Well, kind of.
Here's a fun little tidbit: immediately going to bed after a detox bath will not work. I promise. Give your body a few hours of lazing about to return things to normal. Otherwise you'll end up like me, tossing and turning all night long, simultaneously mentally consumed with how uncomfortable you are and trying not to think about how uncomfortable you are.
If this is what menopause is like, I am not looking forward to it.
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
Sunday, July 22, 2012
[moving]
It is amazing how much stuff one person can accumulate over the course of three years.
In two weeks time I'll be settling into my new apartment. It feels so appropriate to be moving now; I've lived in the same apartment since starting law school. Now that I'm a graduate, moving just feels natural.
I've already begun the packing process. The next two weeks are going to be quite busy. My friends are taking the Bar exam this week, the Olympics are starting and I'll be meeting up with family friends here in Baltimore.
I'm excited for the move. I am nervous about fitting everything into my new space since I'll be downsizing from a one bedroom to a studio. I love it, despite its size. There are hardwood floors, a built in bookshelf, bay window and a loft for the bed.
I know a lot of people moving into their first homes right now. Do I want a house? Yes. I would love a yard with a garden and a dog, an office/craft space, guest bedroom and the works.
But not yet. I'm just starting my career. I'm single. I'm young.
In short I'm just not ready to leave the city yet. I don't want to stay here permanently but for now, city dwelling suits me just fine.
In two weeks time I'll be settling into my new apartment. It feels so appropriate to be moving now; I've lived in the same apartment since starting law school. Now that I'm a graduate, moving just feels natural.
I've already begun the packing process. The next two weeks are going to be quite busy. My friends are taking the Bar exam this week, the Olympics are starting and I'll be meeting up with family friends here in Baltimore.
I'm excited for the move. I am nervous about fitting everything into my new space since I'll be downsizing from a one bedroom to a studio. I love it, despite its size. There are hardwood floors, a built in bookshelf, bay window and a loft for the bed.
I know a lot of people moving into their first homes right now. Do I want a house? Yes. I would love a yard with a garden and a dog, an office/craft space, guest bedroom and the works.
But not yet. I'm just starting my career. I'm single. I'm young.
In short I'm just not ready to leave the city yet. I don't want to stay here permanently but for now, city dwelling suits me just fine.
Thursday, July 19, 2012
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
[violet you're turning violet!]
Lately berries of all sorts have been super cheap (they are in season and a ton of farms near Baltimore grow them). About a week and a half ago I picked up two pints of blueberries for $5 at a local grocery store. The other advantage of local in season produce? It lasts WAY longer.
It dawned on me yesterday that I still had a pint left. That pint was going to go bad soon and I doubted whether I would eat the berries plain (I'm still warming up to that idea). In the past I've taken a variety of approaches to this problem. I've dumped the remaining blueberries in vodka, frozen them for use as ice cream topping, and created massive berry smoothies.
There's more.
I've discovered my inner Martha Stewart and boy does she LOVE to bake. I always thought I couldn't bake but since I've been on this weight loss journey I've seen just how capable I am of accomplishing things I didn't think would ever happen. So I tried my hand at baking over the weekend. I've always wanted to bake but just always assumed I would screw things up so I rarely tried. When I did, it ended up being a self-fulfilling prophecy and I inevitably messed up whatever baked good I was making.
My inner Martha Stewart is a bit hampered though. That last sentence is actually pronounced "I'm broke." I know it's not spelled that way but that's how you should pronounce it.
Yesterday I was at work, clicking around on Pinterest aimlessly. Honestly I was looking for one of those eggless cookie dough recipes. Then I found this website. So I clicked around on it for a while. Suddenly this caught my eye:
So I mentally scanned my fridge & pantry. Lemons? Check. Blueberries? Check. Sugar? Check. Milk? Check. Flour? Check (thanks to a grocery store run Sunday it's fresh, non-rancid flour). I ran through the whole recipe list and lo and behold I had everything already!! I rejoiced mightily.
After work I whipped up a batch of the bread while working on my laundry. Okay that's not quite accurate. I was also cleaning out my linen closet and baking another type of bread and at some point in there also eating a bowl of cereal (don't judge me. I was busy).
The results?
Amazing. For the first tim win my 25 years on this planet I baked bread that did not overflow, stick to the loaf pan or burn. Not to mention it's delicious and moist and perfect. It's just so perfect. I could not have been more happy with it.
It turns out that when you put your fears and doubts aside, you can accomplish all kinds of things.
Including managing to not burn, overflow or otherwise destroy a loaf of bread.
Except maybe good self-outfit photos. I'm still on the struggle bus with that one. Sigh.
It dawned on me yesterday that I still had a pint left. That pint was going to go bad soon and I doubted whether I would eat the berries plain (I'm still warming up to that idea). In the past I've taken a variety of approaches to this problem. I've dumped the remaining blueberries in vodka, frozen them for use as ice cream topping, and created massive berry smoothies.
There's more.
I've discovered my inner Martha Stewart and boy does she LOVE to bake. I always thought I couldn't bake but since I've been on this weight loss journey I've seen just how capable I am of accomplishing things I didn't think would ever happen. So I tried my hand at baking over the weekend. I've always wanted to bake but just always assumed I would screw things up so I rarely tried. When I did, it ended up being a self-fulfilling prophecy and I inevitably messed up whatever baked good I was making.
My inner Martha Stewart is a bit hampered though. That last sentence is actually pronounced "I'm broke." I know it's not spelled that way but that's how you should pronounce it.
Yesterday I was at work, clicking around on Pinterest aimlessly. Honestly I was looking for one of those eggless cookie dough recipes. Then I found this website. So I clicked around on it for a while. Suddenly this caught my eye:
So I mentally scanned my fridge & pantry. Lemons? Check. Blueberries? Check. Sugar? Check. Milk? Check. Flour? Check (thanks to a grocery store run Sunday it's fresh, non-rancid flour). I ran through the whole recipe list and lo and behold I had everything already!! I rejoiced mightily.
After work I whipped up a batch of the bread while working on my laundry. Okay that's not quite accurate. I was also cleaning out my linen closet and baking another type of bread and at some point in there also eating a bowl of cereal (don't judge me. I was busy).
The results?
Amazing. For the first tim win my 25 years on this planet I baked bread that did not overflow, stick to the loaf pan or burn. Not to mention it's delicious and moist and perfect. It's just so perfect. I could not have been more happy with it.
It turns out that when you put your fears and doubts aside, you can accomplish all kinds of things.
Including managing to not burn, overflow or otherwise destroy a loaf of bread.
Except maybe good self-outfit photos. I'm still on the struggle bus with that one. Sigh.
Dress: Syms
Cardigan: LOFT
Belt: repurposed from a dress bought at Nordstrom's Rack
Necklace, earrings: Silpada
Monday, July 16, 2012
[gains]
Last week an article popped up on my Weight Watchers homepage about how to handle a weight gain. I thought I'll never need that; I'm just going to keep steadily losing.
I was wrong.
This week I had a little gain. Not a whole pound, but a gain none the less.
Gains happen and like my tracker said this morning, they're a natural part of the weight-loss journey.
They're also an important learning tool.
One of my favorite quotes is by Samuel Beckett:
It may sound depressing but in actuality there's something uplifting about the message in that quote. You're going to fail. You're human. What matters is not that you failed, but instead that you tried again despite having failed. You may not get it right the next time but you'll get a little better with each attempt.
Last week was stressful for me. As a result of my emotional distress I fell back on some bad habits. I also found a trigger for my poor eating habits: insecurity. When I feel threatened or insecure I turn automatically to food. It's the only time I really get overwhelming cravings. And in that moment of weakness it's too easy to confuse those cravings with actual hunger.
So yes, I gained a little bit of weight this week. But I also gained a little wisdom. Once I figured out the source of my overeating I was able to deal with the actual issue and get back on track.
At the end of the day this gain does not spell defeat. I'm not giving up on my goal (more about that later this week) just because I gained a fraction of a pound. No instead I'm putting my feet back underneath me and hitting the ground running.
Here's to a little failing better everyday. One of these days, those failures will turn into a success. Like Thomas Edison said,
Skirt: Syms
Shell: Macy's
Cardigan: LOFT
Bracelets: LOFT
Necklace, earrings: gift
I was wrong.
This week I had a little gain. Not a whole pound, but a gain none the less.
Gains happen and like my tracker said this morning, they're a natural part of the weight-loss journey.
They're also an important learning tool.
One of my favorite quotes is by Samuel Beckett:
"Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better."
It may sound depressing but in actuality there's something uplifting about the message in that quote. You're going to fail. You're human. What matters is not that you failed, but instead that you tried again despite having failed. You may not get it right the next time but you'll get a little better with each attempt.
Last week was stressful for me. As a result of my emotional distress I fell back on some bad habits. I also found a trigger for my poor eating habits: insecurity. When I feel threatened or insecure I turn automatically to food. It's the only time I really get overwhelming cravings. And in that moment of weakness it's too easy to confuse those cravings with actual hunger.
So yes, I gained a little bit of weight this week. But I also gained a little wisdom. Once I figured out the source of my overeating I was able to deal with the actual issue and get back on track.
At the end of the day this gain does not spell defeat. I'm not giving up on my goal (more about that later this week) just because I gained a fraction of a pound. No instead I'm putting my feet back underneath me and hitting the ground running.
Here's to a little failing better everyday. One of these days, those failures will turn into a success. Like Thomas Edison said,
"I haven't failed. I've found a thousand ways that don't work."Also please excuse my self-photography skills. Like my weight-loss journey, it's a work in progress.
Skirt: Syms
Shell: Macy's
Cardigan: LOFT
Bracelets: LOFT
Necklace, earrings: gift
Sunday, July 15, 2012
[rancid]
Did you know that flour can go bad? Because it can.
Yesterday I went to make this lovely recipe:
I'm all about making things from scratch these days. I've got a loaf of bread in the oven as we speak and I've been using homemade toothpaste all week. So when I saw a recipe for a single-serve cookie on Pinterest I thought it was the perfect way to have a cookie without baking a dozen that would just lie around and tempt me or buying pre-made ones filled with who-knows-what.
I opened my flour canister to make myself a cookie and was greeted by a funky smell. I shrugged and used it anyways.
Bad idea.
Bad bad idea.
It tasted awful. I actually couldn't get the taste out of my mouth for hours. It took Listerine to get it to go away.
Anyways.
In more exciting news, I got a haircut yesterday!
It's amazing what a difference a haircut can make. Now that I'm an "adult" in theory, I can't just let my hair do what it may. I need to maintain it.
And let's be honest, I'm just a short-haired girl at heart.
Oh and that single serve cookie? Delicious.
Just make sure you don't use flour that's gone bad.
Yesterday I went to make this lovely recipe:
I'm all about making things from scratch these days. I've got a loaf of bread in the oven as we speak and I've been using homemade toothpaste all week. So when I saw a recipe for a single-serve cookie on Pinterest I thought it was the perfect way to have a cookie without baking a dozen that would just lie around and tempt me or buying pre-made ones filled with who-knows-what.
I opened my flour canister to make myself a cookie and was greeted by a funky smell. I shrugged and used it anyways.
Bad idea.
Bad bad idea.
It tasted awful. I actually couldn't get the taste out of my mouth for hours. It took Listerine to get it to go away.
Anyways.
It's amazing what a difference a haircut can make. Now that I'm an "adult" in theory, I can't just let my hair do what it may. I need to maintain it.
Oh and that single serve cookie? Delicious.
Just make sure you don't use flour that's gone bad.
Monday, July 9, 2012
[petite]
I've been meaning to post for like a week now.
I've also been meaning to start doing outfit photos again.
I've been meaning to do a lot lately.
But here's the thing. I'm no morning person. I can either make it to work on time or take outfit photos before work. What about after work you ask? Well. I could say that due to the heat wave we've been having by the time I walk home from work (yes I do that even in the heat. Yes I know it's stupid) I've melted into a puddle. I've actually significantly paired down my makeup, sticking to only tinted moisturizer, mascara and lip stain. Everything else seems to leave my face instantly anyways. So I figured why waste time, energy & product? Why not just do what of my makeup actually arrives at work with me?
But that's just an excuse. The truth is I just plain forget. I get home and I get all excited about working out and cooking the dinner I've been planning all day. Everything else just kind of goes out the window. The next thing I know I'm all sweaty post-workout and chopping veggies in the kitchen when it dawns on me that for the umpteenth day in a row I forgot to take outfit photos.
I know. I'm terrible.
I swear if my head wasn't firmly attached to my shoulders I would misplace it. I was going to say that I would lose it but that conjured up images of guillotines and the French Revolution, which is not the kind of losing your head I was going for.
Anyways.
My weight loss journey is going strong and I'm really proud of the progress I've been making lately. I'm officially down a full pants size! Most excitingly, I can finally fit back into the petite sizes at my favorite store. That feels amazing.
You see I've had these pants for a while now. Around 5 pairs to be exact. They were a little tight when initially purchased two years ago. I swore up and down that I would lose the weight and fit into them properly. But it didn't happen. Every time I've cleaned my closet out since then I've just kind of shuffled them around; I can't bear the thought of getting rid of pants that I never even wore. Especially dress pants.
Guess what?
They fit like a DREAM.
It may have taken two years to get here, but darnitall I did it.
You know what else?
This past weekend I normally would have binged. I went to the grocery store, fully intent on throwing a pity party for one, complete with chips, dip and oreos. As I stood there in front of the Oreos I realized that, well, I didn't actually want them. My nose wrinkled up and they just plain didn't seem worth it. I was wearing my size smaller pants and I realized that feeling healthy, not having to hide my stomach when I sat and having more energy all day was way better than anything in that package of Oreos. So I left without any chips, dip or sugary snack.
I've finally found freedom and boy do I love it.
I've also been meaning to start doing outfit photos again.
I've been meaning to do a lot lately.
But here's the thing. I'm no morning person. I can either make it to work on time or take outfit photos before work. What about after work you ask? Well. I could say that due to the heat wave we've been having by the time I walk home from work (yes I do that even in the heat. Yes I know it's stupid) I've melted into a puddle. I've actually significantly paired down my makeup, sticking to only tinted moisturizer, mascara and lip stain. Everything else seems to leave my face instantly anyways. So I figured why waste time, energy & product? Why not just do what of my makeup actually arrives at work with me?
But that's just an excuse. The truth is I just plain forget. I get home and I get all excited about working out and cooking the dinner I've been planning all day. Everything else just kind of goes out the window. The next thing I know I'm all sweaty post-workout and chopping veggies in the kitchen when it dawns on me that for the umpteenth day in a row I forgot to take outfit photos.
I know. I'm terrible.
I swear if my head wasn't firmly attached to my shoulders I would misplace it. I was going to say that I would lose it but that conjured up images of guillotines and the French Revolution, which is not the kind of losing your head I was going for.
Anyways.
My weight loss journey is going strong and I'm really proud of the progress I've been making lately. I'm officially down a full pants size! Most excitingly, I can finally fit back into the petite sizes at my favorite store. That feels amazing.
You see I've had these pants for a while now. Around 5 pairs to be exact. They were a little tight when initially purchased two years ago. I swore up and down that I would lose the weight and fit into them properly. But it didn't happen. Every time I've cleaned my closet out since then I've just kind of shuffled them around; I can't bear the thought of getting rid of pants that I never even wore. Especially dress pants.
Guess what?
They fit like a DREAM.
It may have taken two years to get here, but darnitall I did it.
You know what else?
This past weekend I normally would have binged. I went to the grocery store, fully intent on throwing a pity party for one, complete with chips, dip and oreos. As I stood there in front of the Oreos I realized that, well, I didn't actually want them. My nose wrinkled up and they just plain didn't seem worth it. I was wearing my size smaller pants and I realized that feeling healthy, not having to hide my stomach when I sat and having more energy all day was way better than anything in that package of Oreos. So I left without any chips, dip or sugary snack.
I've finally found freedom and boy do I love it.
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