[sloth]

Let me be painfully clear about one thing: this post is not political in any way, shape or form. Hopefully that will be clear if you actually read it in its entirety.

Earlier today I came across this on Pinterest:

Source:

Sloth is a deadly sin. It's swept under the rug on a regular basis but that doesn't make it not a deadly sin. Sloth is very much alive in our culture as well. I hesitate to say it's alive in other cultures, mostly because I'm not as familiar with them.

Today I was at mass. Two pews in front of me was a woman so old & frail that she could barely walk without a cane. Directly in front of me was a woman about my age.

Now Good Friday mass is a bit different than normal mass. There's a lot more standing and a lot more kneeling than normal. I'll be darned if that old woman didn't stand and kneel with the rest of us. I would have cut her some slack; after all these years she's earned it.

I'll be darned if the woman directly in front of me couldn't be bothered to do either properly. You know how people do that half kneel? They're technically on their knees but their butts are still on the pew. When she kneeled that's what she did. No effort to kneel properly was ever made.

It broke my heart.

It infuriated me.

We just read the story of Christ's passion and you can't be bothered to kneel or stand?

What have we come to that sloth and laziness are acceptable like this?

I know the American way is efficiency but there's a point where advances in efficiency become advances in sloth instead. I'm not willing to draw a bright line between the two but at some point the transition happens.

One of the most shocking revelations along this journey relates to sloth. For years I thought that since I was in school I was clearly not suffering from sloth. The people suffering from sloth? They were the unemployed, the ones who sat around drinking all day and complaining that the world would not cater to them.

Earlier today I realized that despite being in my third year of law school I suffer from sloth. You can be productive and slothful at the same time. It's an odd contradiction but it can happen.

I wanted to lose weight but I wouldn't work out or eat any better.
I wanted to get a job but I wouldn't apply for any.
I wanted to have friends but I wouldn't spend time with them.
I wanted to get married but I wouldn't bother myself to speak to men.

The list goes on and on. In recent years it wasn't depression that locked me in my apartment. It was sloth. It was simply easier to lay on the sofa. Watching TV requires a great deal less effort than a run or lunch with a friend or a craft project or job searching. Heck craft projects and job searching can be done with the TV on but getting off the sofa still seemed like too much effort. There was thinking and planning and commitment involved.

So I didn't do it.

Until this semester.

It's incredible. The more I do, the better I feel.

I work out more now. I eat healthier too.
I'm applying for several jobs a day and I've had multiple interviews.
I'm spending time with friends at the minimum once a week (hey we're still in law school).
I've completed two craft projects in the last week.

The last one? Sorry Mom but there's no news on that front. But for once I'm willing to try. And that is a huge improvement.

I'm tired. But I'm tired of something different now.

Life, real life, is not handed to you. It's earned with hours of hard work. I know it sucks to get started. I know it's easier to stay on the sofa. Trust me, I know. I've been there.

But trust me when I say this: breaking sloth's grip is doable. It takes time, just like everything else. But it can be done.

Don't get me wrong. Downtime and rest are wonderful things. Both are important to a well balanced life.

Just make sure they stay in check.